Every morning there is something I do that brings either a smile or a frown to my face. It’s very personal and I really don’t know why I am sharing it, but I get the feeling we know each other well enough now and it’s best to have all my secrets out in the open. Don’t worry I am not about to disintegrate into some evil slayer of puppies, it’s not a dark secret, I’ll keep that for later! Back to the morning smile/frown conundrum
Smile: I’ve put my socks on without falling against the wall or bed
Frown: I’ve landed on the bed swearing slightly and feeling intently idiotic
So that’s the start of the Parkinson’s balancing act and I have read enough now to know that many PD sufferers have many more things to balance than just putting on socks. There’s the medication,there’s the family life, the social life, then again there’s the whole pain in the ass life of shaking and just trying to balance your sanity. I think there should be a clause written into our life contract about sanity, A “Sanity Clause”, I like the sound of that, we could read it once a year on the 25th of December to keep us sane. Go on re-read that bit one more time, just say it out loud, it will make more sense.
Last time I posted a rant it was about perhaps being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Plus, I’ll have to wait and see what the results are going to be. Therefore my life is in a bit of limbo at the moment or out of balance is another way of putting it and it really got me thinking. ‘What’ I hear you scream at the screen, ‘for the love of God, John, what were you thinking?’ Well you just calm yourself down, sit tight and I’ll tell you. What I was thinking was, well it was more than falling over putting socks on that’s for sure, so at least you wont have to go through that idiocy again, what I was thinking was that what the heck do you do if you know there’s a limited time left before you shake off this mortal coil, not that I am getting morbid, but just “what if”? Some questions I ask myself
would I care enough to continue working?
could I afford not to?
how long would it take me to resent any wasted minute?
how do I go about becoming financially secure enough to not have to?
how do I delete work out of the work/life balance?
what do I do when I don’t work?
how long is a bucket list?
how do I keep strong?
The last one is easy, you just need to know the people around me, strength in depth. As for the rest? I really don’t know. I sat and looked at a spreadsheet today for just about the whole morning. It was no better or worse than many I’d seen before ( I am being kind, it was horrendous, an insult to excel, a bigger insult to my sense of injustice, and an even bigger insult to Bill Gates who must be rolling in his cash at the misuse of this fabulously flexible device, but as usual I digress) but it did make me think. If I have, say, five years why would I spend any of it doing this, then I thought, if I have ten years? Does it make any difference to the futility of a spreadsheet with someone else’s predetermined deadline attached, a deadline set so that the perpetrator of the crime against information gathering, that this spreadsheet has now become in my head, can do their wee bit of a task, that is way more important than anything I may have scheduled for this week and of course it has to have a Friday deadline. Friday before they jet off to wherever the holiday mood takes them. Secure in the knowledge that their desk is clear, secure in the knowledge that whilst they have the info they needed, and I say ‘needed’ in a very loose fashion here, desired for completeness, perhaps wanted to fill out more columns to make it look important, unfettered by the ignorance of their spreadsheet layout, the absent functionality and high frustration levels they have foisted on unsuspecting and, in the most, uncomplaining colleagues. Oh yes, this is a rant,fully fledged and with wings on.
I will let the spreadsheet rant go for the moment and move back to the time scale Lets take my ten years of existence and expand it to fifteen or twenty years. Should there be any difference? Not really. I still cannot justify any weeks, days, hours or minutes wasted with flim flam. I am in the best shape I am ever going to be, by definition my time is limited, so is yours, its just I have had a bit of a shake recently. So thats it in a nutshell, someone puts a time scale on your life, your balance is as shot as my morning sock pulling and suddenly you don’t want to waste time anymore. Not a second.
Before I sign off and wish you well, a quick question, and this is serious, this is my bucket list extension query. Do you know anyone who would employ me to do a bit now and again, maybe build a web page or two,or blog about Parkinson’s but mostly they could pay me lots of dosh not to fall over whilst putting my socks on. Right, onto that bucket list but first a letter Dear Bill Gates…….