Looking out of the window at 7.04 PM on the 24th October it is pitch dark. The long hot summer of 2013 has has finally succumbed to Autumn, snow is forecast, am I therefore to assume that Autumn this year has only lasted a week or so? Possibly, even I guess, probably. It seems we lose one of our seasons every year,perhaps I am getting old! Spring in 2010, then summer every other year, winter last year. Therefore it is Autumn’s turn this year to give way. Global warming, global dimming and the new ice age await our futures.
What the devil am I talking about this time? Its a very good question and a question that in the fullness of time I am quite willing to answer, but not yet. No not yet, because for now we have everything and in many ways this is our best day and maybe tomorrow too. If it wasn’t your best day who are you going to blame? (don’t you dare say me!!!)
It’s just hard to see it that way everyday.
One month ago when I was told I had Parkinsons I was delighted, as happy as a baby elephant on the beach or a possum in a bakery. Yes, very pleased with myself indeed. A month before that, I had been writing about perspective and trying to learn what strengths my family and myself would need to find to come to terms with a limited lifespan. So to be told a bit of shaking and some awkward movement was all I had to put up with didn’t seem quite so bad after all. All you need is a bit of perspective BUT here’s the thing the further you get from something the less you grasp it’s perspective. A month on and the shake in my arm is really annoying me again, no longer does it feel ‘lucky’. A month on and my walking is stilted, perhaps even a little worse, no longer feeling blessed that I can walk at all. A month on and I need a good boot up the arse to remind me to get myself pulled together and to realise that today and tomorrow are my best days – EVER.
‘Pity is a benign form of abuse’ said Michael J Fox, a shakemeister himself.
So we can extrapolate that ‘Self pity is a benign form of self abuse’ and that will just not do. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
So back to the missing Autumn of 2013, yes its getting dark early, yes its a bit chillier in the morning, and yes its great to be alive to see and wonder about the variety of our world. Now I am firmly kicked in the backside (again) I can see , even from an odd angle, a new perspective and every time a I lose sight of the goodness that surronds us, please kick me again. I deserve it.
Cue Katrina and the Waves